Not for the Common Love


I was dropping my niece off to her friends house yesterday and on the way back home and between Jayden screaming in the back seat and the crazy afternoon traffic I was going station after station to find something good to listen to. I wasn’t in the mood for any club bangers or any other craziness, I just wasn’t in the mood.

I don’t know how many of you listen to “The Bad Boy” Michael Baisden show but if you don’t you should start. From politics to relationships he just about covers everything. With his smooth and often humorous personality he is a big hit with the ladies and keeps everyone laughing and thinking. Today lawyer Robert Harris who practices out of Ohio was on and scaring the masses of folks listening in to the show. How the convo started I really don’t know since I came in on the back end but what they were talking about was a trip. Common law marriages.

For those of you that don’t know what a common law marriage is let me break it down for you and save you a trip to google 🙂 . A common law marriage is a marriage that occurs from the actions of a couple, despite the fact that they have not obtained a marriage license or fulfilled the state’s statutory marriage laws. Typically this means that the couple has cohabitated together for a period of time, usually a year or more but can be as little as 6 months. Although only permitted in a few states (currently only 10, not including the District of Columbia: Alabama, Colorado, Kansas, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Iowa, Montana, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania and Texas); There is no such thing as common-law divorce. Once parties are married, regardless of the manner in which their marriage is contracted, they are married and can only be divorced by appropriate means in the place where the divorce is granted. That means, in all 50 states, only by a court order.

Honestly I think to have these kind of orders in this day and age is insane. There are so many people that are living together simply to make ends meet, or as friends. I would hate to simply find a roommate who happens to be of the opposite sex and end up married to him because he paid half of the rent. So I go from seeking help with the rent to giving dude half my income … WHOA! People were calling in with stories left and right. I couldn’t believe it. One woman even called in and said her abusive boyfriend had her put in jail for supposedly having someone beat him up and because he had an overnight bag at her house he was given the keys to stay at her apartment while she spent the night in a prison cell.

It’s not even a matter of the guy running away in these states and situations, I think both parties should be nervous. In most cases, especially those unknowing I don’t see it being happily ever after. Im still trying to figure out why they haven’t abolished these laws in the few states they still have them in. I guess that’s not as important as other issues on the table.

A little about Baisden

hdr_baisden-copy.jpgHis radio career began in 2003 when 98.7 KISS FM in New York City offered him a position as the afternoon drive-time host. .. within six months, their afternoon drive ratings went from number 9 to number 1. After eight months of consistent high ratings, Michael suggested taking his show national but management was apprehensive, suggesting that New York wasn’t ready. His vibrant personality on and off the air has made him a people magnet. He began attracting attention with primarily female followers as author and publisher of the highly successful provocative books: “Never Satisfied: How and Why Men Cheat”, “Men Cry in the Dark”,“The Maintenance Man”,and lastly “God’s Gift to Women”. Two of his titles ultimately were adapted into stage plays. The Bad Boy continues to entertain, enlighten and educate as he pursues one of his first dreams, to host a Late Night Talk show. He got that chance in the fall of 2007, when he partnered with FarCor Productions and TV One to host “Baisden After Dark,” featuring comedian George Willborn and band leader Morris day. The show was a smash hit, breaking records for viewers on the black owned network. Baisdens proudest moment came on September 20, 2007, when he passionately and skillfully spearheaded the famous Jena 6 March in Jena, Louisiana.


2 Responses to “Not for the Common Love”

  1. 1 dmillz80

    Ms. Redd,

    Wow is all I can say to this post. I have heard of these archaic laws before but to the extreme that if you have a roommate you can become legally married. In regards to this I would advice that even if your boyfriend/ girlfriend was living in your home and your not ready for marriage that both of you should establish a rental contract specifying the payment terms. I believe this approach will establish the correct living arrangements in the court eyes.

    I have to say this really sucks for me. Reason being is now i will have to add this to the conversation us men try to avoid.

    1. If you get pregnant I will do a maternity test regardless.

    2. Yes I want to get married one day but not right now

    3. Yes I want you to move in but you have to sign this lease contract even if you don’t pay any rent.


    Mr. Black

  2. 2 Redd

    Mr. Black
    Michael Baisden was saying the same thing. Screw a prenump he said the moment you sit down at the bar and before you get her number you should have her sign an agreement – right then and there lol. What’s really messed up is that other states honor the common law marriages so even if you really wanted out with zero drama you couldn’t run. God forbid you have a shiesty girlfriend/boyfriend you may end up just giving away everything you’ve earned thus far.
    I want to get married as well (one day) but I definitely want to decide when myself! This will make everyone think about who they are living with.

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